The Toothpaste Report
by: Daniel Riehs
RUTLEDGE, Ala.—Fourteen-year-old Mary Matthews, an honor student from Lake Arid Senior High School, has a serious predicament.
Her favorite mint toothpaste—a morning staple for over six years—has left her feeling disillusioned and unfulfilled.
"Sure, my toothpaste removes plaque," said Matthews at a recent press conference, "But it makes no effort to fight decay or freshen breath."
She continued by saying, "What I need is a whole mouth paste, a tooth-cleaning agent that will not only fight plaque, but prevent decay and keep my breath smelling clean. If such a product were to exist, its three colored stripes would surly give meaning to this desperate existence that is my life."
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