The Ziggy Report
by: Daniel Riehs
CARTOONLAND—Ziggy, the popular comic-strip character convicted of drug possession and armed robbery three months ago, was cleared off all blame and released Thursday. This was due to new evidence that proved the crimes were committed by his loyal pet, Goldie the Goldfish.
"Damn irony!" Screamed Ziggy, as he left the Fuzzyville Maximum Security Prison. He then added, "If only I had chosen to wear pants!"
Experts believe that Ziggy's time in jail has left him with permanent psychological damage—damage that will no doubt, however, reveal itself in upcoming cartoons. The new comic strips are expected to restart in mid-April, and will probably be some of Ziggy's finest work.
Oh Ziggy! You're so crazy.