The Hot-Dog Report
by: Daniel Riehs
DALLAS—Grant Anderson was run over by an Oscar-Mayer Weiner Mobile while eating a hot dog Tuesday.
Witnesses called the accident "disturbing," and "a little ironic."
"The mobile was only moving about three miles per hour," said one particularly shaken bystander. "I ran toward the scene, but . . . it's all just so senseless."
It took rescue workers four hours to rescue Anderson from the giant novelty hot-dog bun that had pinned him to the ground. Amazingly, he emerged with only a broken arm and a few bruises.
"I'm very lucky to be alive," said Anderson to a local radio DJ. "I think I'm going to join the Freedom Core."
The unveiling of Oscar Mayer's new "Giant Exploding Weiner Mobile Attack Module of Death" has been postponed until December.