The SUV Report
by: Daniel Riehs
DETROIT, MI—An out-of-control SUV killed a man and its driver earlier this week. Sources reported that the sport utility vehicle started to weave from side to side as if it were drunk. It then drove off of the highway and struck a stranded motorist, killing him instantly.
Investigations as to why the SUV targeted these particular victims are ongoing, but Police Chief Emanuel Craft has been quoted as saying, "We're going to get to the bottom of this."
Community pressure will make sure that he does. . . . get to the bottom of this, that is.