The Science Report
by: Daniel Riehs
SEATTLE—Fourty-one-year-old scientist Steven Bryer put the finishing touches on his genocide killing ray Wednesday. Eleven hours later, after going though what experts describe as "mental anguish that could drive a man to the brink of insanity," Bryer destroyed his invention with a sledgehammer and burnt his laboratory to the ground.
"I thought I could change the world," said Bryer, "But the world just wasn't ready for my ideas."
Added Bryer, "Now where did I leave the blueprints to my Jew vaporizer?"