The Sniper Report
by: Daniel Riehs
WASHINGTON—The United States remains "dangerously unprepared" to deal with another major sniper attack, said a report by FBI officials, released Tuesday.
"In all likelihood, the next attack will result in even greater casualties and widespread disruption to American lives and the economy than the October attacks," said FBI spokesperson Hugo Windman, at a recent press conference.
Windman added, "John Lee Malvo and John Allen Muhammad will most likely sneak out of jail by hiding in a laundry cart. There's nothing we can do about it. The American people are doomed."