The Trent Lott Report
by: Daniel Riehs
WASHINGTON—Soon-to-be Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott (R-Miss.) apologized Tuesday for the racist comments that he made at Senator Strom Thurmond's (R-S.C.) one-hundredth-birthday party.
According to Lott, his statement about "people of color being the bane of modern society" was supposed to be a taken as a compliment.
When questioned about his declaration that "the world be a much better place today if those Dixiecrats had killed or enslaved every member of the African race when they had the chance," Lott responded with the following explanation.
"By 'the world would be a much better place today if those Dixiecrats,' I meant 'I like to eat,' and by 'had killed or enslaved every member of the African race when they had the chance,' I meant 'lollipops.'"
In a related story, Strom Thurmond also likes to eat lollipops.