The War On Terrorism Report
by: Daniel Riehs
WASHINGTON—President Bush ordered members of the military in high-risk positions to be fitted with arm guards Tuesday. The arm guards, similar to those worn by baseball players, are designed to cushion the blow from a misplaced fastball.
Bush, who will also be fitted for a guard, said at a recent interview, "Getting hit by a fastball is really serious, and our enemies are really serious about hurting us. . . . See what I'm saying? Get it?"
Bush then added, "John is in the chair; the chair is in the kitchen; John better get out of the kitchen."