Execution Reversed
by: Daniel Riehs
DALLAS—The December 2001 execution of 31-year-old Justin Ferguson was overturned Tuesday morning by a state Court of Appeals. Following the decision, Ferguson was exhumed, resuscitated, and reunited with his happy family.
"Agghhh! It's the walking dead." said Mary Ferguson, after seeing her son's decayed, maggot-infested body for the first time in over three months.
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Above: Ferguson, prior to his execution. |
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Justin's brother, Walter, was likewise thankful for his sibling's return. "Oh! The humanity of it all! His arms have rotted away!"
The Dallas court's decision has been called a "victory for America's judicial system." Capital-punishment activists around the country have proclaimed that this decision proves the death penalty can be used—and overruled—fairly and justly.
Although the months that Ferguson spent dead caused him to lose most of his skin, as well as the ability to talk, walk, and digest food; experts believe that he will become an important figure in the movement to gain total acceptance of capital punishment from the American people.
Political Analyst Jim Stepson had the following to say about the situation, "Many people are skeptical about the death penalty. They fear its nonexistent margin for error and costly legal proceedings that drain taxpayers and tie up the court system." He then continued by stating, "This decision, however, proves that a dead man can be given back a reasonable percentage of his former abilities for just under four million dollars."
Once Mr. Ferguson is fitted with replacement appendages and given a new voice box, he will undoubtedly call a press conference to discuss his role in the evolution of the United States justice system.
"I can't wait to meet him," said Betty Nite, a nurse at the county hospital where Ferguson is easing the transition from the quite isolation of death back into the chaotic world of the living. "Wait a minute, is that him? Holy $%#@! I can see his skull!"
She then passed out.
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