Squaresoft to Release Newest Strategy Game
by: Joe Morris
SEATTLE—In what experts say will be one of the biggest hits of the year, Holy Wars 2002 is expected to be released on Tuesday. The newest strategy-action game from Squaresoft has been highly anticipated by video-game addicts for months.
"Holy Wars 2002 has so many features to offer gamers. From commanding an army of extreme Muslims on a jihad against America to utilizing the meditation techniques of the Buddhist monks, everyone can find something to suit their individual tastes," said Gameworld expert Leo McCarran.
Squaresoft executive Jim King described the profound impact the game has already had on him. "I was an atheist for 35 years, but I've now seen the error of my ways. Unlocking the inner powers of the Chi, I've been able to reach a higher level of spirituality as well as annihilate Pagan deities."
Fifteen-year-old beta-tester Michael Urges also gave an enthusiastic review. "I've destroyed 3 Jewish temples just this week, not to mention all those synagogues. I've also got troops surrounding all the borders of the Vatican; the end is near."
When asked if he plans to buy his own copy, Urges replied, "I think that's what Allah would want. I must continue to defend his honor, even at the expense of $39.99. Yahweh, watch out."
