Trebek Trades Green Card For Note Card
by: Ty Twigg
LAS ANGELES—Alex Trebek was removed from an INS testing facility Wednesday while taking a citizenship exam.
Trebek, a native of Canada, and host of the popular television show Jeopardy!, was taking the mandatory exam for permanent citizenship in the United States, when instructors noticed him reading the answers off of small note cards—immediately disqualifying him from any passing grade.
Eric James, the administrator at the time of the test, had already given Alex the oral part of the exam.
"[Alex] was one of the most annoying people I've ever given an exam to, and I usually work with people who know seven words of English that they picked up from The Fonz," Said James. "He was always humming that music whenever I asked him a question. I should have known something wasn't right when he constantly mispronounced words. I mean, 'Grover Cleveland' was an understandable mistake, but he should really have 'Trebek' memorized by now.
James claimed that this had never happened with any other testers, saying that "even people from third world countries who have never taken a test in their life know that you can't use note cards."
The producers of Jeopardy! are already looking for a replacement host. They have already turned down Regis Philbin, not wanting the hear the words "Final Answer" every twelve seconds, and have turned down Carson Daly, due to a Creampuff incident, which Sony Television Studios will not go any further into.
When asked for comment on the situation, Trebek simply stated, "They've never yelled at me before."
Normally when unsure of a situation Trebek asks the judges. If charges are filed, he may soon be asking . . . lawyers?
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