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Volume 2, Issue 1

Pamela Anderson To Visit Allen Middle School

by: Michael Lawrence

      HOLLYWOOD, Calif.—The notable V.I.P. television star and porn queen, Pamela Anderson, said she will visit Allen Tuesday at 1 p.m. to discuss career paths. Anderson said she would not trade her career as a celebrity whore for anything in the world.

      "It s probably one of the more respectable careers a young woman, or man, can find themselves getting into," she said. "Plus, once you get rich and famous, you're able to afford extensive plastic surgery work, which keeps you young forever."

      The 35-year-old actress said she will talk about how she landed roles in Baywatch and Home Improvement, and how those early jobs led to the sophisticated roles she had since elevated herself to.

      "It s almost amazing what I had to do when I first started in the business," Anderson said. "Everything had to do with my big boobs."

      Even though she kept the gargantuan breasts, she said the roles she lands today have nothing to do with them. Her prestige is what does it, she said.

      "My boobs are desirable, but I have been keeping most of them covered," she said. I'm talented. What else can explain the roles I am offered to play today?"

      Anderson said she turned down the lead female role in the Oscar nominated film, In the Bedroom, which later went to Sissy Spacek. Anderson said she was interested in the film until she read the terrible script.

      "I looked at the title and it seemed like it would be something I would want to be in," she said. "Then I read that god-awful script."

      She said there was not one scene where she could wear tight clothing and offer oral sex.

      "They actually expected me to be play an old, menopausal woman with a grown-up son," she said. "I was never even biologically capable of having children."

      Allen Middle School Principal Hanna FoFanna said Anderson's visit will give inspiration to all students.

      "Girls will be shown new opportunities for their careers," she said, "And this might be the first all-school assembly the boys remember attending."

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