Bush Proposes Creation Of Terrorist State
by: Daniel Riehs
WASHINGTON—President Bush announced Tuesday his plan for the creation of a sovereign terrorist state along the boarder of Israel and Palestine.
"I figure property should be pretty cheap over there," said Bush during his weekly radio address. "I mean with the military strife, and all."
Tentatively labeled Terrorisima, the new terrorist state would unify all of the world's terrorists under a single self-sustaining government for the first time in the nearly 3000-year history of evil.
"Our first objective," said Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld, "Would be to place economic sanctions on the new nation and force them to submit to United States—UN weapons inspections, rather. We would then kill every one of their citizens. . . . with bombs . . . really big, scary bombs."
Rumsfeld then continued by saying, "It might even be possible to move the displaced Jews back into the area after everything's cleaned up. I don't know, though. The radiation is going to be pretty bad."
Left-wing groups have been eager to speak out about Tuesday's announcement.
"We can't kill an entire nation," said an ANSWER spokesperson at a recent press conference. "It is only by destroying the United States and letting the terrorists rule the world that we can ever achieve the liberal-minded society that we all desire."
President Bush also recommended moving the world's illegal drugs into a desolate area of Wyoming where they can be "given a good stomping."
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