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Volume 2, Issue 8

Bustamante Desperate, Berating Schwarzenegger Through Fark Comments

by: Daniel Riehs

      SACREMENTO, Calif.— Lieutenant Governor Cruz Bustamante has begun to use desperate means in the battle to defeat the California recall, sources reported.

      Bustamante, who has fallen behind in recent polls—which show neither the recall being defeated nor the Lieutenant Governor winning the election—has posted several disparaging remarks on the cult website Fark.com in recent days.

      Schwarzenegger campaign spokesman Rob Stutzman recently told reporters that Bustamante had been speaking out against Schwarzenegger by leaving comments under the pseudonym CruzBuz47.

      "In one post," Stuzman told reporters, "Bustamante referred to Schwarzenegger as an 'asshat.' A second comment covertly hinted that Schwarzenegger may not be as qualified for the position as the current Lieutenant Governor."

      "These allegations are nonsense," said Bustamante at a recent campaign fundraiser. "I would never stoop so low as to slander Schwarzenegger's name by making phony posts on a website."

      Bustamante then added, "Besides, most of these [comments] that I've been accused of posting don't really make any sense. This one doesn't even talk about Schwarzenegger. It's just a bunch of Simpsons and Sienfeld references."

      Although the screen name that was used to post the comments does seem to incriminate Bustamante, pundits have been skeptical about the logic of taking such a campaign approach.

      As one such pundit noted, "Most of the people who read Fark don't live in California; and of those who do, only a small percentage actually bother voting."

      When asked about one post which referenced Schwarzenegger's wife, Maria Shriver, Bustamante calmly responded, "I'd hit it."

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