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Recent Developments
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Girl Down Hall Jazzes Up Skirt With Flip Flops
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Clam Pizza Clamriffic
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Dodgeball Always Good Idea
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University Students Toast George Huff
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The FCC Report
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FCC Fine Prompts Clear Channel To Drop Satan
[Read Article]
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The Tim Burton Report
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Neighborhood Man Recognizes Burton's Style
[Read Article]
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Community News
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PHILADELPHIA—Neighborhood homeless guy Phillip Johnson really likes being homeless, he told reporters Tuesday. "It's really a great deal," said Johnson. "I just sit here and people give me money." He then added, "And if this ever gets boring, I can always just get a job and buy a house."
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Free Wordplay!
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Volume 3, Issue 4 (May 1, 2004)
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—The news-satire magazine for people who can read.
Check Out the Current Issue
Subscribe to the Newsletter
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Top Story
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Student Lacks Endurance To Watch Entire Marathon
BOSTON—Boston College sophomore Patrick Gossard was unable to watch the entire Boston marathon Monday, sources reported. The twenty-year-old biology major likewise failed to complete the race in 2003, but a year of rigorous training had convinced many that 2004 would be different.
"I had been standing there for about two hours when I really started to feel like I had to go to the bathroom," Gossard told reporters. "Then I got a craving for a hot dog. . . . Everybody cried when I went back to my dorm. I don't know. Sometimes you just can't go on. . . . [Read Article]
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Classic AsGoodAsNews.com Articles
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