McCain Getting To Be Real Douche Bag, Say Senate Republicans
WASHINGTON—Republican Senator John McCain is getting to be a real douche bag, say his fellow Senate Republicans.
McCain, the senior Senator from Arizona, has a record of breaking with party lines to vote in rational, free thinking ways. The other senators have tolerated his habits until just recently, however.
"So we were trying to get the ball rolling on this anti-gay marriage amendment," said Rick Santorum (R-PA), "but McCain kept asking us questions about why we were trying to limit the rights of individual states. He was saying stuff like, 'aren't we supposed to be the ones in favor of states' rights?' I kept telling him to shut up. He was really being a prick about it."
Senator Orrin Hatch (R-UT) also experienced annoyance at McCain's comments.
"He was trying to tell me something about how true conservatives would think twice about changing a rule that's worked flawlessly for the last 200 years," said Hatch. "I was just like, 'Hello, I'm a neo-conservative.'"
While the majority of Republican senators feel that McCain is a real douche, Senate Majority leader Bill Frist (R-TN) insisted that he does not want McCain to step down.
"He's the only one who can un-stick the candy machine in the rotunda," said Frist.
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