Rove To Kill Off Character In Second Term
WASHINGTON—President Bush's chief political advisor Karl Rove confirmed Tuesday that a major character in the Bush administration will die during the President's second term.
While Rove did not give specifics about the chain of events that will lead to the character's demise, he did reassure fans that the President would complete his second term.
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Above: From left to right: Condoleezza Rice, Michael Moore, and Donald H. Rumsfeld. |
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"I'm not saying that he'll necessarily survive long after his term ends," Rove told reporters, "but he'll definitely be around for the next four years."
Rove has been criticized during Bush's first term for killing off thousands of minor characters instead of one or two major ones.
"Yeah, I mean I know we don't really know any of the names of the people who are dieing in Iraq," said Senator John McCain (R-Ariz.), "But it's still an awful lot of people. . . . let's just say that I'm not sure this is the way I would have handled things."
The list of likely candidates for dismissal is extensive, and includes such obvious choices as Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld, newly appointed Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, and documentary filmmaker Michael Moore.
"I could definitely see Michael Moore having a heart attack," said CNN Political Analyst Paul Begala, "And it's been suggested that Rumsfeld's not going to stay on for the whole term anyway, so he could be a prime candidate for a horrific SUV explosion."
Rove, who only four years ago lived in a one-bedroom Washington apartment in near destitution, has achieved international fame through his fanciful coordination of the Bush Administration and the creation of colorful, lifelike supporting characters.
He continues to be popular despite ever darkening plot lines, which increasingly include unilateral military attacks, prison abuse scandals, and rouge, activist judges.
Bush's second term is scheduled to start on January 20, 2005.
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