I'm Still The Greatest Thing
by: Sliced Bread*
That's right, I'm still the greatest thing known to man. Since I've come about, people have been able to enjoy even the messiest of foods while keeping their hands relatively clean.
Sandwiches, French toast, strawberry jelly . . . what kind of a world would it be without these things? I'm not sure, but I for one don't want to find out. And where would these things be without me, sliced bread? Nowhere, that's for sure.
Can you even imagine what it would be like to have soup without me? People would have to rely on the salty drabness of crackers.
I know there are doubters out there, who like to think that God or Pokemon are the greatest things to ever come about. But I say to the ignorant who fail to see my superiority and potential, "Bask in my glory and enjoy yourself a fine sandwich."
Many believe my reign as the greatest idea of mankind will someday come to an end. But if I can endure the development of electricity, space travel, and even Mork and Mindy, what makes you think I can be replaced?
So remember, the next time you sit down to enjoy a fine sandwich with friends or family, don't forget to acknowledge the revolution that has occurred. I dub this The Age of Sliced Bread.
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*And by Sliced Bread, we mean Joe Morris.
Why is this footnote here?
