I Hate This House
by: M.C. Escher*
You know, some people just can't follow directions. I asked for a three-bedroom rancher, and I got this inter-dimensional piece of crap.
It's impossible to entertain in this thing. I'll keep the drinks in one plane of reality, and then half the people at the party can't fill up their glasses without the drinks falling down to the ceiling or flying out the side of the cup.
But why am I complaining about drinks? I think it's a little more annoying that if you step out of the house without first realigning yourself with the dimensional properties of the Earth, you fly off into space.
I've seen it happen. My son had a bunch of friends over for a birthday party. We lost like four of them when they stepped out of the house and floated away.
What the hell? Is it that hard to build a house that doesn't continually slip in and out of what we conceive to be reality and challenge our minds to break every rule of visual cohesion that we've developed for ourselves?
I hate this house so much.
I'm never going to finish any of these pretty sailboat paintings that I've been working on.
. . . Visual cohesion? That doesn't even make any sense!
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*And by M.C. Escher, we mean Daniel Riehs.
Why is this footnote here?
