In Retrospect, Maybe I Shouldn't Have Organized That Rally In Support Of Child Pornographers
by: Arthur Handles*
It seemed like such a good idea at the time. I would speak out against the war in Iraq by holding a rally in support of America's child pornographers. It all made so much sense. . . . then.
"Support Our Troops" rallies made me uneasy. I was told that it was possible to support the troops while opposing the war. However, when I inquired as to the meaning of "support," I was told that it just meant to "show appreciation for what the troops were doing."
I didn't appreciate what the troops were doing. I didn't appreciate it at all.
I hated what the troops where doing.
I despised what the troops were doing.
Then it occurred to me. Perhaps not all people equated "support" with "appreciation."
Perhaps, to some people, support meant saying, "I don't want you to suffer."
Yes. That's was it. Some people undoubtedly supported the troops as they would support any human being. . . . as we all should support every human being.
I didn't want anyone to die. I didn't want anyone to suffer. I wanted to support the American troops, the British troops, and the Iraqi troops.
I wanted to support the thieves, murderers, and rapists, and child pornographers.
I wanted to show my support for the child pornographers.
My message was brilliant. I would be praised for my clear thinking and logic.
I would be credited for presenting people with the most beautifully crafted, bitterly satirical political message that the world had ever seen. . . . except . . .
No one got it.
. . . In retrospect, maybe I shouldn't have organized that rally in support of child pornographers.
« Back (Volume 2, Issue 5)
[Current Issue]
*And by Arthur Handles, we mean Daniel Riehs.
Why is this footnote here?
