Those Player Piano Fat Cats Have Made Quite A Blob This Time
by: Linus P. Rutherford, the Third Earl of Sassafras*
I've been a composer of music for oodles of years, but never before have such a brash group of hooligans attempted to make such a chump of me.
That's right, I'm talking about those scrubs who trade player piano rolls and get their music for free. . . . All without even so much as a jitney going to the people who write the compositions.
I will not be balled up by their sophistry. They say 'sheet music wants to be free,' but I say that the composers of sheet music want to be reimbursed for their work.
I'm not joshing with you. Oh, no, as sure as I am 23 Skidoo!
One would have to be stiff not to see that their time is coming to an end. Their frogging will end tonight and our control of the music industry will be returned to us. . . . where it belongs . . . in the bellows of the musiceers.
Drink up a fine belly wash, I say. The tin is about to start rolling in. Just think of all the clinkers we'll be able to buy with that kind of spon. Oh, what a junk we will throw!
Get out your hell sticks and light up your stove. Tonight we irrigate and celebrate our victory over the fertilizer that is player piano roll sharing.
Those player piano fat cats have made quite a blob this time.
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*And by Linus P. Rutherford, the Third Earl of Sassafras, we mean Daniel Riehs.
Why is this footnote here?
