Howard Dean, Why Can't You Just Give Nice Speeches Like That Bush Fellow?

by: Sally Mordant*			Email Story
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      Did you see that speech that Howard Dean gave to his supporters following his loss in the Iowa Caucuses? He seemed so angry—yelling about everything and screaming out a list of states that he wanted to win next.

      How can we teach our children to suppress their anger and work out problems in calm, quiet manners if we have a President who's always going around yelling?

      Why can't Howard Dean give nice speeches like that President Bush fellow?

      I mean, did you see the State of the Union Address that he gave the other day? There was no angry yelling there. You see, President Bush proved that is possible to give an abstract, politically charged defense of one's policies without resorting to yelling.

      It was also encouraging to hear how well all those tax cuts had been working to stimulate the economy. If Dean had been giving the speech, he probably would have just yelled about how the tax breaks hadn't really generated any new jobs, and he probably just would have screamed, "Agghh! The money that was supposed to have been invested domestically is just going toward the creation of new, foreign labor markets! Roar!"

      Bush was not like that at all, he just calmly told the American people that he would fix the healthcare system, without boring us with reforms that would actually do such a thing; and he was careful not to say too much about the gay marriage issue, out of respect for those of us who would prefer not to remember that gay people exist.

      And I don't even want to go into the war in Iraq. I think it's irresponsible to critique a military effort when there are still so many American troops in harm's way. I'm just happy to know that we are so close to finding Iraq's weapons of mass destruction. "President" Dean wouldn't even be able to come close to finding weapons with his attitude.

      Howard Dean, why can't you just give nice speeches like that Bush fellow?

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^*And by Sally Mordant, we mean Daniel Riehs.
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