Ding! Justice Is Served
by: Audrey Dutton*
Most people will call me blood-thirsty; most will say I have a crippled heart and poor cognitive ability. But I support our President in the current military strike. Iraq will finally get what it deserves, and I couldn't be more ecstatic! I've been waiting for this since 1990.
Anyone who's educated in the matter knows that Iraq is full of hateful, immoral beasts, who've banded together countless times in a quest to destroy higher civilization. Every Iraqi is responsible, friends. It is not only Saddam Hussein, but also the common Iraqi, who promotes terrorism and brutality; their punishment must be inflicted quickly and severely.
No matter what you hear, Iraqis are not poor and miserable. Au contraire, my fellow liberty-seekers! The average Iraqi enjoys a life of hedonistic excess, feasting on the finest cuisine and indulging in material possessions we could only imagine. The media will have you think otherwise, poisoning you with images of starvation and misery, of oppression and genocide. They will accuse President Hussein of hoarding petro-dollars for himself. But these are shameful lies. Scandalmongering and muckraking by a sensationalist press! The truth is, the Kurds have jet-skis, and own half the riches of the modern world (mostly in Intel shares). They're simply playing an elaborate game of "Hide And Seek." Well, look out, because the game has just begun . . .
I don't know what that meant, but I hope it scares those Godless heathens!
The Iraqis are getting out of control. First they appropriated Middle Eastern oil (which is rightly ours), then they marched over to Iran, then the Kuwaiti invasion. Truly, what's next, if we don't raze every building in their iniquitous country? It is time for the United States to join together in securing peace, to give Iraq a fresh start. We must include them in the bright dawn of our empire! Long live America, long live democracy!
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*This is the submitter's real name. No pseudonym was provided.
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